I have three sons and zero daughters. When my boys were small, I would hear the question, "Are you going to keep trying for a girl?" until I thought my head would explode. Some folks seemed affronted when I would tell them I was done having kids. As if, by having only sons, I was somehow disrupting the natural order of the universe.
Mother of two boys
Sometimes I would be stunned into silence. Sometimes I'd gargle out a defensive response. But, with the insight of years behind me, I now appreciate the irrepressible beauty, advantages and challenges of being the mother of just sons.
1. You're their first love. There's no trying to skirt around this one. You fall in love with your sons and they with you in the healthiest sense imaginable. My sister (a mother of girls only) would marvel when my little boys would pick me flowers or caress my hair. They learn how to love women -- and how to be loved by women -- from you.
6. Having sons may suit you. It took years to realize, but I now know raising boys was a good fit for me. I really like my alone time and moms of girls simply don't get as much. When my oldest was a young teen, he said, "Mom, I wish you had a daughter. Someone you could get manicures and stuff with so you wouldn't have to go alone." What he didn't realize was those moments were my escape. I loved that I didn't have to take a child along whenever I wanted to do a "girl" activity.
7. They're (somewhat) safer. My 20-year-old son took an Uber ride into the city on a recent evening. Would I let a daughter take a ride from a stranger alone at night? Not bloody likely. Sure, boys get into their own brand of trouble and can also be victims, but girls are more likely to be harassed and/or attacked. I still worry about my sons, but I worry less (and teach them to respect women so other mothers can worry less about their daughters).
8. You will always feel this way about them. The peaceful joy of watching them sleep? Check. The leaping of your heart when they walk into the room? Check. The maternal thrill you get from their boyish, bearish hugs? Check. They will always be your little boys no matter how big they get. One of mine is 6-foot-five and I still see his little toddler face when I look (up) at him.
But in all seriousness, raising boys presents unique challenges and opportunities for moms. Mothers play a critical role in raising boys to be emotionally healthy and successful men. Studies show that teenage boys who have appropriately close relationships with their mothers do better in school, experience less depression and anxiety, and are less likely to engage in risk-taking behaviors.
To what extent environment and parenting contributes to the differences in boys and girls is a topic for another time. For the sake of this conversation, we are taking at face value that these differences do exist.
Under the umbrella of Embark Behavioral Health, Embark at The Forge is a residential treatment center specializing in the neurobiological and emotional needs of teen boys. Embark Behavioral Health is a leading network of clinics and programs offering premier mental health treatment for adolescents and young adults. Dedicated to its mission of reversing the trends of adolescent and young adult anxiety, depression, and suicide by 2028, Embark is unlike any other behavioral health organization in the United States. Embark offers a full continuum and spectrum of services, a unique 25-years of specialization, a deep legacy of serving youth, and a set of internationally validated outcomes that drive treatment in real-time.
When my boys were little, I remember them running to me and nearly tackling me with their hugs. I remember a baby boy who sucked his thumb and caressed my face with the other hand. The other little boy would sit in my lap and play with my hands.
A mother and her two sons died in a field in Pontiac after the woman fled with her three children because she was suffering a mental health crisis and thought people were out to get them. In the days before they died, people called the sheriff's office about an underdressed family, but deputies could never find them until it was too late.
Bouchard said the sheriff's office had gotten calls in recent days about a woman and children who were underdressed, but deputies couldn't find them. Authorities didn't know that the family had been on the streets for days and were not aware that the mother was having a mental health crisis.
UPPER MAKEFIELD Twp., Pa. - A vigil was held Tuesday night for two Bucks County boys who authorities say were gravely shot by their own mother as they laid in their beds Monday morning.
Officers and the mother of the neighbor entered Nguyen's home and found her two boys gravely shot in the head. Bucks County District Attorney Matthew Weintraub told reporters that both boys are not expected to survive and will have their organs donated.
The United Methodist Church held a vigil for grieving community members on Tuesday, some of whom included Jeffrey's friends and their families. A mother of one of Jeffrey's friends described Nguyen as her friend and said her son spent the night at the home last Friday.
In October 1994, she told authorities she had been carjacked by a Black man who had taken the two boys while they were still in the vehicle. Over nine days, she and her then-husband, David Smith, tearfully pleaded on national television for the boys' return.
Felipe Madrid, 18, and his brother Andres Madrid, 15 were identified by the Lubbock Police Department along with their mother Angelica Vasquez, 46 and Williams Boyles, 48 as the individuals found dead in a South Lubbock home early Wednesday morning.
SCHAUMBURG, Ill. (CBS) -- A family vacation in Florida turned tragic for a family from Schaumburg this week, as a woman died while parasailing -- two young boys were also hurt in the crash.
Hey everyone... I am 3 weeks away from baby number 2's due date and the stupid sonographer let it slip that I'm having another boy. I feel like this has plunged me into depression! I really wanted a girl. I'm certain I only want two kids max so that means I will never be mother to a girl. No beautiful female to pass all my worldly feminist knowledge. I'm so upset!! I love my DS1 but can't get into the idea of two little boys tearing around. Somebody please give me some good points about being mother to two boys!!! TIA
Mine are wonderful. A year apart so close in age and get along great. I don't think they do anything different than if we had girls. They might start day biking in park, but then spend afternoon baking with us and having manicure! It depends whether you treat children as girls or boys or just children regardless of sex imo. Mine don't really crash around screaming and neither play fighting/ or 'boy only stuff'. I had a lovely breakfast out with them this morning where we spent 2 hours chatting and sharing knowledge like I would with a girl.
I was the same. When I found out the second was another boy I was crushed. It's not PC to say it but I'm one of two sisters and INCREDIBLY close to my mum. I adore my boys and was not sad about having boys, per se, more sad about NOT having a girl. We were certain we only wanted two. I've been unable to get it out of my head so we have rolled the dice again and I'm pregnant with the 3rd. If it's a boy then so be it, but I was unable to move on with my life knowing that we MIGHT have had a girl if I'd tried again. My boys are gorgeous for what it's worth. We are Raising them in a gender neutral sort of way, dolls as well as trains, bright colourful clothing not "cheeky monkey" stereotypical slogans and I will raise them as feminists. Boys are fantastic and it's between their ears that counts not their legs ;)
I have 6 boys, wouldn't have it any other way. It would have been nice I suppose but meh, I never really had that need for a girl and you get what you're given really. People are people, you can't choose your children, for all you know your daughter could have grown up to not agree with your own personal ideals, my children aren't all like DH and I. My boys are great, a wide variety of personalities and interests, I can go for a manicure with one, watch another play football, like I said, people are people. It'll be fine, congratulations!
I have two boys, and didn't try for a third as I was worried I couldn't cope with another boy.Now I wish I had. 2 boys are great.I do sympathise though, I do get a bit sad when friends go out with their daughters on ' girly shopping ' trips.I've asked my BFF if I can go wedding shopping when her DD gets married, just to have a taste of it!
I'm a mum of two boys and it's fantastic. They are great company, both of them have a wicked sense of humour. As a family unit we are incredibly close and they can talk to me about anything which is great, but as they're progressing into their teens I've had some quite mature themed conversations. They are certainly closer to me and each other than I was (and am) to my mother and sister. Sometimes when they leave their crap lying around and I say I wish I had daughters, they like to remind me of the episode of Malcolm in the Middle where the mother had a fantasy about having all daughters instead of all sons and how it turned out for her - you should try and catch it on Netflix, it's very funny and shows how each gender brings their own differences.I couldn't imagine being the mum of a daughter now to be honest.
I think it's all too easy to idealize an imagined relationship with a daughter. I'm sure there are many threads about women who have very strained or estranged relationships with their daughters. Don't let your idealised version of an imaginary daughter cloud what is the wonderful reality of your baby boy.I lost a daughter before she was born and was just so relieved to get a healthy baby after that. My two boys have brought me unimaginable joy. I have occasionally wondered what my daughter might have looked like, but I feel its disloyal to my sons to dwell too much.I wish you years of joy with your sons. It's what you make it. You can still watch Frozen and take them out for hot chocolate and cake. 2ff7e9595c
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